In the intricate tapestry of life, our beliefs act as the weaver that literally shapes the fabric of our reality! This blog delves into the profound influence beliefs have on our perceptions, actions, and, ultimately, the outcomes we experience. Brace yourself for a journey through the transformative impact of identifying YOUR beliefs and the effect that could have on your reality.


A belief is an idea that we hold as being correct. It is an acceptance that something exists, or is true, whether or not there is proof of evidence or not.  A lot of these beliefs we have taken on board without any evidence, or analysis, we have blindly accepted them. Rather than question our beliefs and challenge them, in fact being willing to think differently about the opportunities that are all around us, we instead, withdraw into the everyday and do what we have always done before. That then leaves us with an almost probable future, which is what you have already been getting in life.
We start to build a networks of beliefs in our minds from birth and we then accumulate many beliefs about all aspects of life. These beliefs affect one another and are interrelated, forming a belief system. We gain these beliefs from many sources such as our parents, personal experiences and experiments, cultural and societal norms, our education systems, travel, media, etc. We have religious, political, societal, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs, among others. We also have limiting beliefs which are beliefs you have about yourself, other people, or things that stop you in life. They get in the way of you trying achieving, interacting, etc. They often stem from your childhood and it is essentially your brain trying to protect you in the future, from ever having to deal with that thing again.
However, if you want different results in your life, you need to do the work and identify your beliefs that your shadow self has. Only then, can you bring your best self forward as a leader in your chosen career, business or in life!


So I have talked before about my framework called the GRAILS, which lie at the core of our belief system and make up the shadow identity. GRAILS is an acronym that stands for:
  1. Gremlin (Inner Critic): The relentless voice within that questions our worth and capabilities.
  2. Rigid Rules: The inflexible expectations we set for ourselves, often leading to self-imposed limitations.
  3. Assumptions: Unverified conclusions we make about situations, people, or ourselves.
  4. Interpretations: The lens through which we interpret events, shaping our emotional responses.
  5. Limiting Beliefs: Convictions that restrict our potential and hinder personal and professional growth.
  6. Stories: Narratives we construct in our head, often influenced by the aforementioned GRAILS, which define our experiences about others.
These components form the shadow identity that often operates beneath our conscious awareness, influencing how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world. If you don’t do the work to uncover this and then integrated into your being, so that you have full acceptance of who you are in all its glory and its muck, then you will never find peace or be a great leader. You have to bring these above the veil of consciousness, so that you take charge of your life, rather than your GRAILS running the show. When. your GRAILS run the show, you are at your very worst in life, when YOU, your true ESSENCE runs the show, you are at your very best!


When our beliefs lean towards the negative, a cascade of consequences follows. The inner critic gains volume, rigid rules constrict possibilities, assumptions fuel fear, interpretations skew towards the pessimistic, limiting beliefs hinder progress, and stories become narratives of defeat, judgement & hate. In this space, reality becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Achieving goals becomes an uphill battle, obstacles seem insurmountable, and setbacks reinforce a cycle of negativity.


Conversely, a positive perspective and empowering beliefs set the stage for a radically different reality. The inner critic transforms into a constructive cheerleader, rigid rules evolve into flexible guidelines and discernment, assumptions turn into opportunities for exploration, interpretations align with optimism, limiting beliefs dissolve in the face of potential, and stories become tales of resilience, triumph, love and connection. This shift in mindset opens doors to possibilities, fuels motivation, and attracts opportunities that align with the envisioned reality.
Now, all beliefs sit in your head, in your thoughts, you can either CHOOSE a negative set of beliefs, or choose an empowering set of beliefs for yourself. Why not choose the latter?


  1. Recognizing Your GRAILS:
    • Introspect to identify the components of your shadow identity.
    • Acknowledge the influence of your inner critic, rules, assumptions, interpretations, limiting beliefs, and stories.
    • Identify the scenarios and relationships that trigger your negative set of beliefs; learn to become aware of this.
  2. Challenging Limiting Beliefs:
    • Identify and question beliefs that hinder your growth.
    • Repattern your thinking regarding limiting beliefs with empowering perspectives that align with your goals.
  3. Cultivating a Positive Mindset:
    • Embrace a positive perspective as a daily practice.
    • Foster a growth mindset that sees challenges as opportunities for learning and growth.
  4. Creating an Empowering Narrative:
    • Craft stories that highlight your strengths, resilience, and achievements of yourself and others.
    • Focus on a narrative that aligns with the reality you want to create.
  5. Manifesting Your Desired Reality:
    • Align your beliefs with your goals and aspirations.
    • Take intentional actions based on your positive beliefs.
    • Observe how your reality transforms in response to this alignment.


In the grand tapestry of life, your beliefs are the threads that weave the narrative of your reality. The power lies within YOU to reshape this narrative by challenging limiting beliefs, fostering a positive mindset, and crafting empowering stories. Life, out there in and of itself is inherently meaningless, only YOU can add meaning to life. So choose an empowering one.
As a leadership coach, I encourage you to embrace the transformative journey of aligning your beliefs with the reality you aspire to create. Remember, your beliefs are not just reflections; they are the architects of your reality. Choose them wisely, for they have the power to shape the extraordinary life you envision.
Book a session online and reach out to me directly if you want some coaching on this for you, your life, career, business or family. I am a licensed coach with 20+ years experience in leadership, in New York, Silicon Valley, Los Angeles, London & Sydney.